Mike King

Bullying! How We Should Respond?

 “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.” Jesus Christ

One of the most difficult things I’ve ever experienced in my four decades of youth ministry was to serve as a Pallbearer for the funeral of one of a 13-year-old boy in my youth group.  Paul was the victim of repeated bullying by a large group of peers that tragically left Paul with the mistaken conclusion that his reality was too unbearable and he chose to end his own life.  This happened nearly 30 years ago.  Unfortunately, bullying has gotten much worse in the last ten years.

Right now the movie documentary Bully, along with several highly publicized  cases involving tragic results because of bullying among teenagers, has created a heightened awareness of the frightening dynamic of this issue in our culture.

Working with adolescents, we regularly hear stories of young people who everyday have to deal with being bullied.  Everyday, hundreds of thousands of young people have to deal with the fear of attending school where they know they will be bullied.  It’s estimated that an average of more than 150,000 young people stay home from school everyday to avoid being bullied.  Most of the time this occurs without parents being aware that it’s happening to their child. 

Bullying involves acts of repetitive negative behavior of a person or persons toward another person or persons that is aggressive and intimidating in nature.  Bullying can take the forms of emotional, verbal, and/or physical abuse.  Bullying can be a one-on-one issue but most often it involves a collaborative group engaged in peer abuse directed at one or more individuals.

Research reveals that young people who are regularly bullied face an increased risk of mental health issues.  Depression, anxiety, lack of motivation, despair, helplessness, and suicidal thoughts prevail among those who are dealing with being perpetually bullied. In addition to thinking about harming themselves, some begin to fanaticize about hurting their tormenters.  According to a report by the Secret Service, two-thirds of students who participated in school shootings were victims of bullying at school that had reached the level of self-described “torment.”

Mona O’Moore of the Anti-Bullying Centre at Trinity College in Dublin, has written, "There is a growing body of research which indicates that individuals, whether child or adult, who are persistently subjected to abusive behavior are at risk of stress related illness which can sometimes lead to suicide."

In addition to aggressive and physical actions that intimidate and harm the victims of bullying there are new forms of bullying that have emerged through social media.  This type of Cyber-bullying attempts to socially isolate the victim by spreading rumors, name calling, threatening, criticizing, manipulating, ostracizing, etc. through a variety of social medias, including Facebook, Twitter, and whatever new social media tools emerged last week, along with those that will surface this week.

According to the Cyberbullying Research Center, One in five teenagers are harassed regularly online. Almost one-half of all teenagers have experienced some form of online harassment. More than one-third (37%) of teens admit to using social networking sites to victimize and harass their peers.

Before we, as adults, rest in the idea that we have moved beyond the ability to bully, let me suggest that we may not engage in the overt bullying actions of adolescents but we must ask ourselves if we have not just adopted more sophisticated forms of bullying – gossip, character assassination, ostracizing, sabotaging, and exclusionary behavior toward others.

When Jesus was asked what it means to truly be his follower he says, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, Love your neighbor as yourself” Luke 10:27.  He then tells one of the best-known stories called the parable of the Good Samaritan in order to explain and explore the heart of what it means to be a genuine follower of Christ.  In this parable Jesus commends the man who comes to the rescue and takes care of a victim of extreme bullying.  We must stand up for those who are being bullied. Christians must speak up.  We have to take action concerning this issue

What is Youthfront doing about this issue?

• Teaching young people to treat all people with respect and the love, grace and mercy of Jesus Christ.
• Teaching young people the Golden Rule taught by Jesus, “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.” Matthew 7:12
• Teaching and mentoring young people the importance of defending and standing up for the marginalized victims of bullying.

What can parents do?

• Talk to your kids about bullying.
• Go see the movie Bully with your age appropriate kids.
• Educate yourself on your kid’s world, their friends and the social environments they spend time in.
• Be appropriately curious of your kid’s social media world.

I believe that we have a window of opportunity created by this movie Bully and the media’s attention on this issue to double down our effort to radically alter the reality of bullying in our culture.  This, I believe is something that the followers of Jesus and God’s church must passionately engage in.  We must do this for our kids.

Resources                                                                                                                                          The Center for Parent/Youth Understanding, www.cpyu.org                                                          Wikipedia

Jesus and Twitter

92 percent of Evangelical Leaders surveyed believe taking a yoga class is incompatible with being a good evangelical?

Tim Suttle has a new post called Why Are Evangelicals Losing Influence?

Here's an excerpt,

"The evangelical church will have its impact on American culture not through political maneuvering, lawsuits, electing evangelical candidates, controlling the arts, or boycotting movies and products, but when evangelicals begin to embody the virtues derived from our faith. Kindness, generosity, peacefulness, hospitality, patience, self-control -- these are radical virtues that should define the people called evangelicals. Instead we are largely defined by what we are against (like yoga and evolution). Popular evangelical leader Rick Warren once noted the church was meant to be the body of Christ, but it seems "The hands and feet have been amputated and we're just a big mouth." He's right. The evangelical church will enjoy great influence on American culture when it once again becomes the hands and feet of Christ, when it begins to act like the church. How this works out is always different in every context, but Jesus taught it always involves two simple things: love God, love your neighbor."

Read whole post here.

Art & Mission... compatible?

Kit McDermott, Spiritual Formation Catalyst for Imagine Northampton, has written a blog post for Origins entitled, "Can Art Be Kingdom Missional and Remain Art?"

Here is an excerpt: "I need to say the art I will refer to is never deliberately formulaic, cheesy, kitschy, propagandist, corny, mediocre, contrived, simplistic, maudlin, commercially-driven or “the Emperor’s new clothes.” Kingdom missional art will be able to stand on its own merit as art: thoughtful, well-executed, perhaps as good as anyone’s art in the world. It will be a product of skill, even mastery, careful thought and hard work. It will be of substance, even if it makes you laugh."

McDermott fleshes out six aspects of art that reflects the Missio Dei.  It is good content for conversation.  Read the post here.

One of a Kind in all the world - Greenbelt

I truly think the Greenbelt Festival is a unique one of a kind Festival, unlike anything else - anywhere... in the world.  But, hopefully not for long.  Greenbelt should have a North American companion soon called the Wild Goose Festival.  For several years now I've been part of a unique band of sisters and brothers who have carried the vision for something like Greenbelt to be launched in North America.  That day is approaching...

I just got back from the Greenbelt Festival with Vicki, Micah and Jessica Thomas, plus my group of co-conspirators - Karla Yaconelli, Ian Cron, Joy Wallis and Gareth Higgins. 

The most eloquent Ian Cron posted prolifically his thoughts on Greenbelt.  It was his first Greenbelt experience.  I've been there three times.  I couldn't improve on Ian's observations if I spent a month word smithing, so I am reposting his impressions here.  Or you can read the post from Ian's website along with the comments here.

I’m not a fan of Christian festivals, music or otherwise. Unfortunate things can happen when large numbers of Christians gather in one place and get amped up. Take the Crusades, for example.

If a disaster like the latter doesn’t break out, then we face the possibility that a Christian festival will devolve into a scene at which precious things like fine art, theology, worship and good taste will be savagely bludgeoned.

I have been to one or two Christian music festivals that made me want to switch religions.

Yes, I’m being snarky and critical in a tongue in cheek way. I have friends that would say that God met them in a meaningful way at a Christian festival at some juncture in their past, but I have spoken with a great number that share my experience of leaving these productions feeling bereft and anxious that we’ve participated in the trivialization of the Holy.

This past weekend however, I went to the Greenbelt Festival in England and I not only left feeling full to the brim, I departed feeling hopeful and warmed anew towards my tribe.

Here is my Top Ten List of Things I Loved about the Greenbelt Festival. See if the vision and ethos of the event I describe resonates with you.

1. It was roughly 20,000 very diverse people–infants, octogenarians, an inspiring group of mentally challenged people from a L’Arche community, black folk, white folk, gay people, straight people, wheelchair-bound people, conservatives, liberals, atheists, seekers, believers, charismatic’s, passionately Reformed folks, Eastern Orthodox clergy, Roman Catholic monks; not to mention people from who knows how many countries.

2. An atmosphere of hospitality to all of the people mentioned above that would have made St Benedict proud.

3. A challenging, provocative, intellectually muscular army of speakers, artists and performers, with very few “A-list Christian celebrities” meant to draw the masses. People like Duke theologian Stanley Hauerwas, Father Laurence Freeman, Fr Richard Rohr, Maggi Dawn, Mark Yaconelli, Gareth Higgins, Eliacin Rosario-Cruz, Iona community leader John Bell (who gave a message on pedophilia and child abuse in the church that was gripping), Palestinian Christian Sami Awad speaking on Gaza, among many, many other world class presenters. Interestingly, Greenbelt does not pay speaker or artist fees beyond travel expenses for those with no means, but few ever turn down an invitation.

4. Music, dance, theater, film, live performance art, and comedians, of unusually high quality.

5. An atmosphere of whimsy, mischief, surprise and self-deprecation. The moment I arrived, friends rushed me to a Beer and Hymn Sing in a tent with 1,000 people hoisting mugs in the air and shouting choruses of classics from All Creatures of Our God and King to How Great Thou Art until they’d lost their voices. I’ve never heard hymns sung with such conviction.

6. A culture that valued unity over uniformity. I felt an unspoken commitment on everyone’s part to civil and respectful discourse, even when a person passionately disagreed with another person’s perspective. There was also a spirit of humble openness to having one’s own assumptions interrogated, and perhaps recalibrated. No yelling, no demonizing, no hurtful dismissing of other people. Would that this were true here at home.

7. Food vendors from around the world, a commitment to responsible environmental stewardship onsite; surprising examples of excellence in details everywhere you looked (I went in a port-a-potty and found a vase of freshly cut lilies. That’s novel.)

8. An environment in which even an introvert can’t go home without a pocket stuffed with the contact info of new friends.

9. A tented exhibition center stuffed with information booths and displays representing every kind of type of social justice organization or kingdom initiative imaginable—many of which I’d never seen or heard of before.

10. Throughout the day and night all over the campus, there are countless opportunities to worship and pray in both experimental and traditional styles. (BTW try not to tear up when participating in an outdoor Eucharistic service with well over 10,000 people or watching a group of L’Arche members acting out the account of the Samaritan woman).

Could I say more? Yes, but my new friend and blog guru Michael Hyatt will chastise me for writing more than 250 words in a post and I’m way past that number.

So to finish: Around 18 months ago a group of highly capable people who I know and trust, asked me if I would be on the Founding Board of an American festival to be modeled after Greenbelt and held in June of 2011, dubbed the Wild Goose Festival. I’m returning from my first Greenbelt convinced that American Christians, followers of Jesus, or whatever it is we self-consciously call ourselves these days, really need this potentially culture changing event.

In a national climate that is increasingly religiously, politically and socioeconomically contentious and polarized, we need a container where people of faith can really listen to one another, disagree without demonizing the other; where we are challenged to leave the echo chamber of our own theological silos where we only hear the like-minded ideas of our peers rather than hear new voices; a place to dance, laugh and sing with each other, and leave determined to stay in the struggle to “conspire goodness” together.

Wouldn’t it be cool if Jesus’ friends could show the Left and the Right what redemptive generosity and hospitality towards others looked like, instead of participating in the polemic of hatred that dominates the secular media? Why are we allowing them to dictate the field we play on?

The first Wild Goose Festival is scheduled for June of 2011. A wild array of speakers and artists has already committed to participate (for free!). The exact dates, location, price, and a major call for volunteers will be announced when the website goes live in the next few weeks.

“O Lord, make haste to help us.” (The Book of Common Prayer)

What are healthy and unhealthy ways the church is responding to culture?

The latest Slant33 is up discussing the question, "What are healthy and unhealthy ways the church is responding to culture?" Read HERE

Abstinence focused approach hinders a more biblical approach to Marriage

I love books, posts, articles, etc. that flesh out positions that I hold and things I try to communicate.  I wish I had more time to write but I don't right now so when an article like The Case for Early Marriage by Mark Regnerus comes out I am very thankful for the authors hard work.

No doubt, Regnerus will be misunderstood and threatening to a strong stream of "misguided" Evangelical thinking on the approach to sexual behavior and marriage but most of what he says is spot on and desperately needs to be stated.  This issue of abstinence, the age of marriage, and our attitudes toward the covenant of marriage is another great example of how often our "Biblical Positions" are more often shaped by cultural norms than scriptural truth. 

This article is filled with lots of important thoughts on sex, dating, marriage, and the role of the church in helping restore the sacramental covenant nature of marriage among the people of God.  If you are a youth worker, parent of a teenager or twenty something, a pastor, a single person, married person, aw heck, if you are a human being and follower of Jesus who can read you should read THIS.