Mike King

Free Book Offer... Love, Loss and Life Beyond

From now until May 4, 2012 you can get a free digital book entitled A Mother's Journey of Love, Loss and Life Beyond, on Amazon, Barnes & Noble or Apple.  Let me explain my connection with this book.

Recently, I received an email from Jennifer Scalise, a mother who wanted to share a story with me about her daughter, Brooke.  Just a few weeks after Brooke’s second summer at Youthfront Camp West, while on vacation with her family, she was killed in a negligent accident caused by a tour operator in Costa Rica.  This senseless tragedy became national news.  Ultimately Brooke’s mom wrote a book about her story.  Jennifer has appeared on ABC’s Nightline, Good Morning America, and World News with Diane Sawyer to tell Brooke’s story.

In her book Jennifer describes how their family did not go to church but Brooke had gone to camp (at Youthfront) and had become involved in church.  Brooke had become increasingly vocal about her love for Jesus Christ.  Her mom spoke about how gentle yet consistent Brooke was about her faith in God.  The book chronicles the process of her family’s discovery of Brooke’s deep faith and love for Jesus Christ by reading her Youthfront Camp Journals after her death.  As I read Jennifer’s book A MOTHER’S JOURNEY of Love, Loss and Life Beyond, I found myself moved to tears on more than one occasion. 

The summer that Brooke died was the summer we focused on Jesus’ parables in Luke 15.  It was amazing in the book to see Brooke's own handwritten words in her Youthfront camper manual.  She wrote about her life with Jesus.  She revealed how the parable of the Prodigal Son had impacted her.  In the camper manual we had the picture of Rembrandt's painting of The Return of the Prodigal Son.  Brooke’s mom included this picture in her book and wrote about it, “We found a picture of The Return of the Prodigal Son by Rembrandt, on which Brooke had written “God” with an arrow to the man depicting God and then “me” with an arrow to the son kneeling in front of God. We were shocked Brooke would think this way and would have viewed herself as the child kneeling in front of God.” 

I told Brooke’s mom, “We get to serve thousands of young people and minister to them.  We try to do this with a generous posture that creates space for their humanity.  Too many camps and churches try to force young people into a confining human-created mold when what is really needed is an environment that allows young people to lean into their own God shaped humanity.  Brooke definitely embraced Jesus Christ and allowed her spirit to be set free by God's life-giving spirit.

Brooke’s mom continues, “Much later, a friend looking at the picture discovered something I had missed. Brooke had also drawn and circled a distinctive mark on the back of the head of the son (the person she felt depicted her), a mark in the exact spot and in accurate proportion to what I would later learn was the most severe of Brooke’s injuries, and ultimately, the cause of death. Stunned, I moved in a fog for days after finding this, overwhelmed by the magnitude of what it proved.

This all surprised me. Brooke and I were extremely close. She had always confided in me about everything. Our love was so strong. I have many letters that she wrote to me in which she tells me that I am her best friend and we shared a bond like no other. But, as close as we were, I will admit that I was shocked to find out I was not what mattered most in her life. As we pored through what were now the greatest gifts of my life, I found a sheet that she had filled out at school, titled ‘Explore Your Future.’ Under ‘Who do you look up to?’ Brooke listed God, Jesus, and my parents. Under ‘What is important to you?’ she had written: ‘God, my family, and friends are all important to me.’ Not many 12 year olds would write this on a school worksheet in a public school. Seeing this and the other documents made me realize how her love for God was greater than even her love for me and that she viewed herself as God’s child first. As devastated as I was, it gave me peace knowing Brooke was with who she loved most.”

Brooke’s family is thankful to Youthfront for introducing her into a growing relationship with Jesus Christ.  I am also thankful that Brooke’s story also involves an extension of God’s grace into the life of the entire family.  This happens all the time.  This is our mission and Brooke’s story is one of thousands of beautiful stories of young people transformed by Jesus Christ through Youthfront’s ministries.

Attention All Youth Workers, You Must See The Perks of Being A Wallflower

Yesterday I saw The Perks of Being A Wallflower.  The movie is based on Stephen Chbosky's novel by the same name.  Charlie (Logan Lerman) is beginning his freshman year carrying the weight of a tragic middle school experience and not expecting high school to be any better, the desire for friends, the hope for a first love, and a dark cloud of emotion over the deaths of a friend and aunt.  Charlie falls into a friendship with a group of seniors who are all dealing with their own issues. 

The cast is wonderful, filled with notable actresses/actors featuring Emma Watson, Ezra Miller, Logan Lerman, Dylan McDermott, Kate Walsh, Mae Whitman, Joan Cusack and Paul Rudd.  Logan Lerman as Charlie makes anyone watching the movie surely remember the awkwardness of coming to age during the adolescent experience. 

So here's the thing, the movie is 102 minutes long and based on the first 90 minutes of the movie I would have recommended the film for youth workers to see because we take our vocation seriously and we want to study culture and the adolescent experience (see trailer below).  However, it is the final approximately 12 minutes that totally rocked me and led me to write this post to encourage all youth workers that this is a must see film.  I don't know if the film touched things deeply personal or if I was just watching this at the right (or wrong) time but the movie reminded me that hope can spring forth even in the midst of our tragic lives.  The Perks of Being a Wallflower also reminded me why I haven't been able to walk away from the vocation of ministry, especially to youth and their families.  I think our youth ministries are filled with the kinds of young people portrayed in this movie.  The movie also demonstrates the importance of caring adults (Paul Rudd as English teacher) in the lives of young people.

I don't believe I've spoiled anything with this post.  I just want you to see it.  Maybe you won't be caught as off guard as I was but if you see it you will thank me.

"We accept the love we think we deserve."

 

Love Is a Many-Splintered Thing

I don't often read the Wall Street Journal but traveling abroad you grab the newspaper in English.  I read this article by Jim Sollisch and wanted to pass it on to you.

Love Is a Many-Splintered Thing

How did a heartfelt expression of affection turn into the moral equivalent of 'See ya'?

By JIM SOLLISCH

A few years ago, when my kids were in their late teens, I started noticing something funny. They started telling me they loved me all the time. Every phone call and text ended with "I love you," or "Love ya."

I was suspicious. What were they up to? Was Zack about to ask for a new phone? Was Max going to tell me he planned to drop out of college to become a tattoo artist?

Or did they just love me so much they couldn't stop telling me? Hope was defeating skepticism until I heard my daughter Zoey end a cellphone conversation with, "OK, bye, I love you." Read full story

Granddaughters, Part Two

Vicki and I have two granddaughters.  Lexi King is five years old and Teagan is eight days old.  Yesterday's post featured a video of Lexi reading The Night Before Kindergarten on the eve of her first day of Kindergarten.  Today video features the arrival of baby Teagan.

this is the day that teagan joined us from David Fiser on Vimeo.

Granddaughters, Part One

Vicki and I are so fortunate to have two wonderful Granddaughters.  Humor me, I have two videos starring our beautiful girls.  Lexi King is five years old and Teagan is seven days old.  Today was Lexi's first day of Kindergarten and is the star of this video (Teagan will be tomorrow's feature star).

Christian Formation and Music

My friend Mike Crawford weighs in on Christian Formation and Music for Immerse: A Journal of Faith, Life and Youth Ministry.

Christian Formation and Music: Part One By: Mike Crawford Music is one of God's most powerful and creative forces, and it's played a huge role in my life and is certainly playing a large part in the lives of my kids. I've been reflecting on how I encountered music as a young person and also how I've fostered space in my kids' lives to make sure they encounter the beautiful partnership between God and man in both the listening to and creation of music. First, a couple quotes I found while reading a great book on calling by Ken Gire, called Windows of the Soul: "What can we do that makes us the gladdest, what can we do that leaves us with the strongest sense of sailing true north and of peace, which is much of what gladness is? Is it making things with our hands out of wood or stone or paint or canvas? Or is it making something we hope like truth out of words? Or is it making people laugh or weep in a way that cleanses their spirit? I believe that if it is a thing that makes us truly glad, then it is a good thing and it is our thing and it is the calling voice that we were made to answer with our lives."  -Frederick Buechner "There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets in the future."    -Graham Greene, The Power and the Glory For me, the future started knocking on the door when I was in fifth grade. The specific day was August 16, 1977, the day Elvis died... Read More!

Bullying! How We Should Respond?

 “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.” Jesus Christ

One of the most difficult things I’ve ever experienced in my four decades of youth ministry was to serve as a Pallbearer for the funeral of one of a 13-year-old boy in my youth group.  Paul was the victim of repeated bullying by a large group of peers that tragically left Paul with the mistaken conclusion that his reality was too unbearable and he chose to end his own life.  This happened nearly 30 years ago.  Unfortunately, bullying has gotten much worse in the last ten years.

Right now the movie documentary Bully, along with several highly publicized  cases involving tragic results because of bullying among teenagers, has created a heightened awareness of the frightening dynamic of this issue in our culture.

Working with adolescents, we regularly hear stories of young people who everyday have to deal with being bullied.  Everyday, hundreds of thousands of young people have to deal with the fear of attending school where they know they will be bullied.  It’s estimated that an average of more than 150,000 young people stay home from school everyday to avoid being bullied.  Most of the time this occurs without parents being aware that it’s happening to their child. 

Bullying involves acts of repetitive negative behavior of a person or persons toward another person or persons that is aggressive and intimidating in nature.  Bullying can take the forms of emotional, verbal, and/or physical abuse.  Bullying can be a one-on-one issue but most often it involves a collaborative group engaged in peer abuse directed at one or more individuals.

Research reveals that young people who are regularly bullied face an increased risk of mental health issues.  Depression, anxiety, lack of motivation, despair, helplessness, and suicidal thoughts prevail among those who are dealing with being perpetually bullied. In addition to thinking about harming themselves, some begin to fanaticize about hurting their tormenters.  According to a report by the Secret Service, two-thirds of students who participated in school shootings were victims of bullying at school that had reached the level of self-described “torment.”

Mona O’Moore of the Anti-Bullying Centre at Trinity College in Dublin, has written, "There is a growing body of research which indicates that individuals, whether child or adult, who are persistently subjected to abusive behavior are at risk of stress related illness which can sometimes lead to suicide."

In addition to aggressive and physical actions that intimidate and harm the victims of bullying there are new forms of bullying that have emerged through social media.  This type of Cyber-bullying attempts to socially isolate the victim by spreading rumors, name calling, threatening, criticizing, manipulating, ostracizing, etc. through a variety of social medias, including Facebook, Twitter, and whatever new social media tools emerged last week, along with those that will surface this week.

According to the Cyberbullying Research Center, One in five teenagers are harassed regularly online. Almost one-half of all teenagers have experienced some form of online harassment. More than one-third (37%) of teens admit to using social networking sites to victimize and harass their peers.

Before we, as adults, rest in the idea that we have moved beyond the ability to bully, let me suggest that we may not engage in the overt bullying actions of adolescents but we must ask ourselves if we have not just adopted more sophisticated forms of bullying – gossip, character assassination, ostracizing, sabotaging, and exclusionary behavior toward others.

When Jesus was asked what it means to truly be his follower he says, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, Love your neighbor as yourself” Luke 10:27.  He then tells one of the best-known stories called the parable of the Good Samaritan in order to explain and explore the heart of what it means to be a genuine follower of Christ.  In this parable Jesus commends the man who comes to the rescue and takes care of a victim of extreme bullying.  We must stand up for those who are being bullied. Christians must speak up.  We have to take action concerning this issue

What is Youthfront doing about this issue?

• Teaching young people to treat all people with respect and the love, grace and mercy of Jesus Christ.
• Teaching young people the Golden Rule taught by Jesus, “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.” Matthew 7:12
• Teaching and mentoring young people the importance of defending and standing up for the marginalized victims of bullying.

What can parents do?

• Talk to your kids about bullying.
• Go see the movie Bully with your age appropriate kids.
• Educate yourself on your kid’s world, their friends and the social environments they spend time in.
• Be appropriately curious of your kid’s social media world.

I believe that we have a window of opportunity created by this movie Bully and the media’s attention on this issue to double down our effort to radically alter the reality of bullying in our culture.  This, I believe is something that the followers of Jesus and God’s church must passionately engage in.  We must do this for our kids.

Resources                                                                                                                                          The Center for Parent/Youth Understanding, www.cpyu.org                                                          Wikipedia

No Easy Answers: The Shared Role of Parents and the Church in the Spiritual Formation of Teens

I served as Editor for the Youthfront Book Shorts Series published by Barefoot Publications. The title I'm featuring today is Leslie Snyder's No Easy Answers: The Shared Role of Parents and the Church in the Spiritual Formation of Teens.

I first met Leslie Snyder in Seminary.  I quickly labeled her as the fanatical advocate for parents who have kids in youth ministry.  This turned out to be an accurate label.  Leslie is passionate and deeply committed to help parents in our churches be more involved in the Christian Formation of their children.

Leslie eats, drinks, sleeps and dreams about ways to serve parents of young people.  She insists that youth workers must be more aware of the family context of the young people they minister to.  Leslie’s voice joins the growing chorus of voices articulating the importance of Christian Formation of young people needing the involvement of the entire church community.  She describes ways that youth workers can become guides, facilitators, pastors and leaders for the movement toward creating a broader faith community engaged in passing the faith onto our emerging generations.  For Leslie, investing in parents of teenagers is an essential aspect of nurturing a more holistic faith community for our youth to be spiritually developed.

Leslie gives youth workers practical ideas for helping parents of the youth you minister to and how this will broaden you ability to disciple them.  One of the biggest challenges we face in the church today is to help our churches really live for and love Jesus, and for our congregations to be deeply committed to Christian formation.  It’s no wonder our young people don’t take their faith serious when they haven’t seen this modeled by the adults in our churches.  Leslie makes the case that we have to look at his issue holistically and in doing so we can make a difference.

*The cool thing about this book short series is the fact that they are downloadable and can be reproduced by youth workers to engage in conversation with their volunteer staff for the purpose of training and shaping the ethos of the youth ministry of a church.

ORDER HERE

Alexis Victoria King

Five years ago right now I was making what appeared to be an impossible attempt to get on a flight home early from the National Youth Workers Convention in Anaheim, California because the arrival of our first grandchild seemed to be happening a little earlier than scheduled.

I had been told in the middle of the night before by the airline that there was no chance I could get on a flight back to KC, defeated for the moment I fell back into bed.  An hour later I decided to get up and head for the airport because Grandpa just shouldn't miss the birth of a grandchild.  I found a kind looking Grandma type working the desk and once again pled my case.  On the phone it's easy to say "no way" but this wonderful woman knew, as she looked at my face, how important this was and she moved the impossible.  I walked into the hospital six hours later just in time to hear Daniel announce to Vicki and me that we have a granddaughter named Alexis Victoria King.  

Lexi has been such a joyful part of our lives.  Today she turns five years old and those five years have flown by.  I get to take Lexi to her first Chiefs game today, her mom and dad are coming too but my role is to make sure she gets locked in as a football and Chiefs fan.  Happy Birthday Lexi.  You are an amazing little girl.

Back from Hawaii

Vicki and I just got back from Hawaii.  We had a great time and concluded our celebrations for our 35th anniversary of marriage and 35th anniversary of youth ministry.  We did a lot of reading, relaxing and eating great seafood.

One of the things I love doing in Hawaii is running.  I did a half-marathon every day for eight days and made my goal of running more than 100 miles.  Vicki ran some of those miles with me.  It was nice to have eight days where our biggest decisions of the day was where to watch the sunset and where to eat dinner.

The first night we were there a false alarm for a tsunami evacuation went off at 2:00am.  Very weird, especially now in light of the tragedy in Japan.

Being on Hawaii time meant that I was still awake our first night home when the live shots started coming in around 1:30am CT on the devastation in Japan caused by the earthquake.  It was surreal and tragic to actually watch live video of the tsunami wave sweeping through the Japanese coastline while people in cars and on foot tried to escape death.