Children's letters to God

This is from a friend of mine (Mike Atkinson) they are letters to God from children, answered by Karen Linden

KIDS' COMMUNIQUÉS TO GOD

1. Dear God,

Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now. Amanda

Dear Amanda:
   I like that idea.  What do you suggest?  God

2. Dear God,
Thank you for the baby brother but what I asked for was a puppy. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.  Joyce
Dear Joyce:
     I suppose that Dear Santa letter last Christmas was a forgery?  Brothers are better than puppies.  Trust me.  God

3. Dear Mr. God,
I wish you would not make it so easy for people to come apart. I had to have 3 stitches and a shot.  Janet

Dear Janet:
    I'm very sorry about that.  The original design was indestructible but some fool archangel decided his plan was better than mine.  Of course, I could point out that the plan to skateboard over your mother's Volvo was poorly implemented.   God

4. God,
I read the Bible. What does beget mean? Nobody will tell me.   Love Alison

Dear Alison;
   I'm reluctant to interfere with parental training but if you can get them to let you hang out at the Zoo a bit more, you'll figure it out.  God

5. Dear God,

How did you know you were God? Who told you?   Charlene

Dear Charlene;
    You did.  Or, I should say, your ancestors did.  You humans seem to like things to have proper names.  In the course of naming plants and animals, it just seemed like I needed one too.  Unfortunately, your people couldn't agree on just one so they keep proliferating (related to "begetting", look it up.)  God

6. Dear God, is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his golf words in the house?  Anita

Dear Anita;
    If it were, the population up here would be a lot smaller.  But you could try to remember that you aren't required to pick up ALL of your parents bad habits.   God

7. Dear God,

I bet it's very hard for you to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it.    Nancy

Dear Nancy;
    You're pretty smart for someone you're age.  I hope you remember that when you are older.    God

8. Dear God,
I like the story about Noah the best of all of them. You really made up some good ones. I like walking on water, too.   Glenn

Dear Glenn;
   If it weren't for the "made up" insult, I'd offer to show you how it's done some day.  God

9. Dear God,

My Grandpa says you were around when he was a little boy. How far back do you go?
Love, Dennis

Dear Dennis:
   You ever hear of dinosaurs?  I made 'em.  Grampa is only slightly younger.   God

10. Dear God,

Do you draw the lines around the countries? If you don't, who does?   Nathan

Dear Nathan:
   There are lines around the countries??   God

11. Dear God,

Did you mean for giraffes to look like that or was it an accident?    Norma

Dear Norma;
    I thought you could use a laugh.  Just don't ask me about mosquitoes.   God

12. Dear God,

In Bible times, did they really talk that fancy?     Jennifer

Dear Jennifer;
    Nope.   God

13. Dear God,

How come you did all those miracles in the old days and don't do any now?   Billy

Dear Billy;
    I haven't stopped doing them, people have just stopped seeing them.   God

14. Dear God,

Please send Dennis Clark to a different summer camp this year.    Peter

Dear Peter;
    I'll see what I can do, but some things you have to learn to handle yourself.  Dennis is probably one of them.   God

15 Dear God,

Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they each had their own rooms. It works out OK with me and my brother.    Larry

Dear Larry;
    I gave Cain and Abel their own plantations.  It didn't help.  I'm really glad about you and your brother.  Thanks for the help.    God

16. Dear God,

I keep waiting for spring, but it never did come yet. What's up? Don't forget.   Mark

Dear Mark:
   It's coming.  I promise.  Hang in there.  In the meantime, aren't icicles cool?  God

17. Dear God,

My brother told me about how you are born but it just doesn't sound right. What do you say?    Marsha

Dear Marsha;
    I know it sounds odd now, but you'll appreciate it when you're older.   God

18. Dear God,

If you watch in Church on Sunday I will show you my new shoes.    Barbara

Dear Barbara;
   I love your new shoes.  But I love you more.    God

19. Dear God,

Is Reverend Coe a friend of yours, or do you just know him through the business?   Donny

Dear Donny;
    No one belongs in my business unless they are first my friend.  Tell Reverend Coe I said "hello."    God

20. Dear God,

I do not think anybody could be a better God than you. Well, I just want you to know that. I am not just saying that because you are already God.    Charles
Dear Charles;
   I exist for letters like yours.  Thank you.     God

21. Dear God,

It is great the way you always get the stars in the right place. Why can't you do that with the moon?     Jeff

Dear Jeff:
    How boring would that be??   God

22. Dear God,

I am doing the best I can. Really !!!!    Frank

Dear Frank;
    Try harder but don't get discouraged!  The world wasn't made in a day!   God

Comments

[timsamoff]

Just plain awesome.

[Youthblog]

That brightened up the afternoon! Inspiring theological dialogue for a Friday, thanks!

[gunnar]

he he he, made my day!
when i was a kid i asked god if i could blow up the moon (i even made a blueprint of a rocket to carry the payload of firecrackers), so that i woulnd't have to go to bed for the whole summer leave. i never got an answer, so i refrained myself... :)